Monday, August 31, 2009

Oh Beloved Sleep...

On any given day, I pray to the gods and sacrifice a goat or four so that I may have the chance at a decent night's rest.  A decent night's rest consists of going to sleep at 11pm, waking twice to change and feed the baby (preferably only once per waking) and wake for good at 7am at the ear piercing beep of my husband's evil alarm clock.  My usual night's "rest" actually means finally getting the baby to sleep at around 11pm, waking a minimum of 3 times to change the baby, then feed the baby, then change again (and possibly feed again).  Then A will drop his paci and cry right after I fall back asleep.  Finally, at about 5am, after all my baby tending, I fall back asleep, only to be woken around 6:15am by my lovely, handsome boy.  Total sleep?  3 hours tops.  And boy am I not a morning person.

Anyone crossing me in the morning will often lose a limb.  Asking me questions right after I wake up is a surefire way to introduce a piece of silverware into your flesh.  I am just the grouchiest of all grouches first thing in the morning.  So naturally, the newborn phase, granting me as little sleep as it does, makes me pretty bats* crazy.  To pile on top of this, a freaking faulty monoxide detector, robbing me of the precious 3 hours, well... there aren't words to describe the mood I was in this morning. 

Doesn't it seem like kids just know when you're in a foul mood?  My kids have some kind of radar that tells them exactly how bad of a mood I am in, and they adjust theirs to test my very will to live.  My son is in the "squirming out of a diaper changing" phase which irritates me beyond belief.  Try diapering a greased piglet and you'll find out how much fun it is changing a squirming toddler.  He also thinks the word "no" means "please do that again, as many times as you can, as fast as you can".  Between getting kicked, having food thrown on the floor/at me and melting into a screaming pile of toddler, my sleepless night, followed by patience-testing day was great fun.  Let's just say I'm not terribly sad to see it end!


People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.
-- Leo J. Burke

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