Sunday, September 6, 2009

The Baby Fever...

About six months after your baby is born, you encounter this strange phenomenon called "baby fever".  It's an evil evil EVIL thing.  It's a force, not unlike pregnancy cravings, that makes you CRAVE another baby.  Most women are able to use their current baby as birth control.  Whenever they feel the pang of baby fever, they take one look at their crying/ poopy/ time consuming baby they already have and pop a birth control pill... or twelve.  Me on the other hand, I was blessed with very quiet, very well behaved babies.  Not toddlers, babies.  So when my oldest was 6 months old and the baby fever hit me hard, he was still in wonderful, quiet baby mode.  It was a trick.  I got pregnant when he was 6 or 7 months old, only to have him turn on me, pretty much as soon as he learned to walk.  So, around 12 months old, and me 5 months pregnant. 

Baby fever cannot be cured.  You just have to ignore it.  Doing things like reading labor stories, looking at other people's teeny tiny babies, even reviewing your kids' baby pictures, is a BAD idea.  That's like looking at a dessert menu when you're on a diet.  Sure, it tastes good as you eat it, but the next few months you spend at the gym working it off makes you want to kick yourself for even looking at that stupid menu. 

So what do you do?  How do you stop it?  Lock yourself in a room with a colicky baby?  Ask to babysit your friend's hell-raising 4 kids?  The only fail safe way to combat baby fever is to get long term birth control.  Depo, Implanon, an IUD.  Of course, your OB will think you're insane if you schedule, then cancel, then schedule, then cancel, etc. your IUD removal so it's best to stick with a non-removable one.

Now I bet you're wondering if I followed my own advice.  NOPE!  So here's the baby fever, a few months early, hitting me hard.  I don't know what to do!  I need another cutie baby!  But I just know my cute little angelic baby is only a few months away from becoming a mischievous little toddler, bent on making me go bald.  Plus, every time I mention another baby, my husband tells me we're never having sex ever again. 

I never said my babies need to all be by my husband, though.  Heh.  *Insert evil grin here*


My mom used to say it doesn't matter how many kids you have... because one kid'll take up 100% of your time so more kids can't possibly take up more than 100% of your time.  ~Karen Brown

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