Sunday, September 13, 2009

My job...

I don't understand why people think that choosing to be a stay at home mother is being the anti-feminist.  It seems like choosing to be the only one raising your own children mean's you think all women should remain barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. 

So what if I believe that women are made to raise the children?  It's been proven over and over again by science.  Women's brains are hardwired for things like detail, compassion, multi-tasking, nurturing, etc.  Women's bodies are made to nurse a child until they're able to eat solid foods, which often takes years.  Men's brains and bodies are made for things like hunting, protecting, physical labor, etc.  It's simple human biology.  Do I think men can be as good of a house-spouse as a woman?  Not really.  God, or evolution, whichever you believe, didn't make men and women so they could switch jobs.  A woman's body can't keep up with a man's physically, until you add in unnatural stimulants, enhancers and exertion.  Does that mean that I think one sex is more important or useful than another?  Not at all.

Now that we've become a society advanced enough to not require physical labor for survival, it is possible for women to make as much money as men, and to help support a family in other ways than childcare.  Feminism has made it clear that women are able to accomplish almost everything a man can in life.  Staying at home to raise your children doesn't mean you disagree with any of these things!

It seems that some women are so hell-bent on proving themselves, they often lose sight of the job they chose: motherhood.  Motherhood is a 24/7/365 job.  You know this when you sign up for it.  It doesn't allow you to take on another job for money, status or because society tells you to do so or risk your feminist pride.  Pawning your kids off on other people just because you don't feel like staying at home makes you a failure at motherhood.  After all, if you were hired as a lawyer, you can't just pick some random min. wage teenager to fill in for you on the days you don't feel like doing your job.  If you did, you'd get fired.  It's unfortunate that unfit mothers rarely get fired from their jobs until they've seriously failed their clients, aka children.

People have lost sight of the fact that motherhood is not sitting at home watching soap operas and eating bon bons.  Motherhood is maid, chef, accountant, taxi, therapist, nurse, secretary, manager and superhero all rolled into one.  And if you have more than one kid, or a husband, then you get to multiply all of those jobs.  Just because we don't get PAID for all of our jobs doesn't mean we don't have the compounded stress from them all.

Why is it so shameful to want to put all of your time and energy into being the best mother and wife you can be?  Why does it mean forsaking your pride as a woman?  Why can't you be a SAHM and a feminist?  Are they mutually exclusive?  People's attitudes sure make it seem so. 

Motherhood is hard enough without people telling you you do nothing all day.  It is the epitome of thankless, considering people who aren't mothers, mothers who don't stay at home, and all kinds of other unqualified people make sure to tell you how easy your job must be just because you can do half of it in your pajamas.  Some of us wish we had a reason to get out of our pajamas sometimes.  I encourage all of you non-SAHMs to walk a mile in our shoes before you're so quick to judge!  And if you get the time to walk that whole mile in between all the laundry, dishes, feedings, diaper changing, bill paying, dinner making, floor vacuuming, booboo kissing, night-night song singing, checkbook balancing, baby rocking, lunch preparing, ABC singing, etc. etc. then I will personally applaud you.


“If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” - Milton Berle

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