Saturday, September 1, 2012

September

It's fall.  I know Fall doesn't actually begin for another 3 weeks, but today, to me, it felt like Fall.  The air was nice and cool, not humid and stifling.  Just now R went out to get my water bottle I left in our back yard while the kids were playing, and the air that wafted in was - dare I say it? - COLD.  I was amazed.  And happy.  My heart smiles in the Fall.  I'm not sure why, but I know it's in anticipation for Winter.  I never really had fond family memories of Fall or Winter, but I do remember it felt like the world just slowed down.  Things were quieter.  And here in New England, things get happier.  People go to apple orchards and pick apples until they can't hold any more.  The snow settles in and the world becomes silent.  Literally, the snow silences everything in it's beautiful blanket of soft white.  It's an amazing feeling I wish I could bottle.  I know right now I'm in the happy phase of my disorder, and soon it will come crashing back into depression, but for some reason in the Fall and Winter, the happy phases seem happier and longer.  I feel more content.  The cold air just lifts my spirit.  Especially in the morning.  Oh, how I love Winter mornings!  It's freezing cold and dark.  It feels special, like it's a special reason you're awake before the sun.  Like when you were young and had to wake up in the wee hours of the morning to get ready for a plane ride.  Except now, I get to do it with my children.  I wake up with them and feed them breakfast before the sun wakes up.  All the while containing this special feeling in my heart, letting it seep out in the form of extra hugs and kisses, and snuggles to keep warm.  The spirit of Christmas is so positive.  Sometimes I get cranky at the monetary value corporate America has placed on such a special season, but I try hard to block it out.  I hope I can pass on this genuine happiness to my kids, and they can enjoy these upcoming days as much as I do.

Welcome, Fall :-)

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