It's haunting me. I picture the hospital a lot. The last few times I saw her conscious but not all there. The last time I saw her before her surgery. The last time I hugged her. I think about all of it a lot when I'm laying in bed at night.
I know some people don't have a close relationship with their grandmas but I was very close with my gram. I talked to her often. She was a huge part of my childhood, and a very important person to me.
It's so hard to get used to this person just not being there. They've disappeared. Nothing you say or do will change it. I don't know how people get over it.